- Sep 18, 2010
- 444
- 8
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Saint Peter's at the gates of Heaven, doing his nightclub bouncer thing. "Heaven's kind of full", he says to the queue of people waiting to get in. "Only those with a great story get in. The rest go to Purgatory!"
First guy comes up, he's short and bald and fat and dressed in a suit, heavily sweating and red faced. SP asks, "so how did you die?" Guys explains, "I'm married to a beautiful young woman, and I work hard every day. I know she's cheating on me, so one day I come home early and I catch her naked in bed. I search all over for her lover, and finally see him outside, hanging on to the balcony railing. He's naked. I try to knock him off, but he's a strong bastard. I take my shoe and hit his knuckles, so he falls three floors and lands on the shrubs below. He's not dead! So I take the wardrobe and heave it over the balcony, onto him. Then I get a massive heart attack and so... here I am!"
SP scratches his head and says, "great story! OK, you can come in. Next!"
Next guy is tall, muscled, and naked. SP asks, "so what happened to you?" Guy explains, "I live on the penthouse of this tall apartment block, and like to work out. I was doing summersaults and slipped over the edge of the railing. I fell down five floors and managed to grip a balcony. I'm hanging there, pulling myself up when some crazy man starts shouting at me and hitting me. I finally fall down, break my back on some stuff and as I'm lying there, a cupboard falls on me and kills me."
SP facepalms and lets him in, saying, "Wow, that's a great story, God will enjoy hearing that one. Next!"
Third guy is a scruffy long haired artist type, half dressed. SP asks, "so what's your story?" Guy explains, "So... I was in this cupboard..."
First guy comes up, he's short and bald and fat and dressed in a suit, heavily sweating and red faced. SP asks, "so how did you die?" Guys explains, "I'm married to a beautiful young woman, and I work hard every day. I know she's cheating on me, so one day I come home early and I catch her naked in bed. I search all over for her lover, and finally see him outside, hanging on to the balcony railing. He's naked. I try to knock him off, but he's a strong bastard. I take my shoe and hit his knuckles, so he falls three floors and lands on the shrubs below. He's not dead! So I take the wardrobe and heave it over the balcony, onto him. Then I get a massive heart attack and so... here I am!"
SP scratches his head and says, "great story! OK, you can come in. Next!"
Next guy is tall, muscled, and naked. SP asks, "so what happened to you?" Guy explains, "I live on the penthouse of this tall apartment block, and like to work out. I was doing summersaults and slipped over the edge of the railing. I fell down five floors and managed to grip a balcony. I'm hanging there, pulling myself up when some crazy man starts shouting at me and hitting me. I finally fall down, break my back on some stuff and as I'm lying there, a cupboard falls on me and kills me."
SP facepalms and lets him in, saying, "Wow, that's a great story, God will enjoy hearing that one. Next!"
Third guy is a scruffy long haired artist type, half dressed. SP asks, "so what's your story?" Guy explains, "So... I was in this cupboard..."
